I taught 2 types of Reframing and then helped people apply the teachings to their world. Check it out. I think you’ll find it valuable:

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Asking questions in a sales meeting shouldn’t be complicated nor should it be a cause of stress.

There are 2 (not so) separate categories of questioning:

1. Questions that determine fit

2. Questions that guide realizations

Chad note: There is obvious overlap between the 2 categories. You can argue that the point of every question is to determine fit. And determining fit is a sort of realization in and of itself.

But for the sake of clarity, I separate the two.

Questions that Determine fit

These are your key criteria. The questions you need answers to in order to determine if the prospect is suitable to be your next customer, irrespective of the problem they want solved.

In other words, no matter how much pain the prospect is in, how much they appear to need your solution, and how able and willing they are to buy it from you, failure to satisfy this criteria immediately disqualifies them.

Every industry has this criteria. For some it’s “they must be using XYZ technology” and for others it’s “must have a minimum team size or headcount” etc

What are your dealbreakers?

Chad note: People feel safe when they know your dealbreakers and boundaries. It provides a container for the other and shows you have standards.

Questions that determine fit often revolve around:

• Budget

• Decision making process

• Technical fit / ecosystem

• Timing / urgency

• Legal or compliance blockers

Understanding these things is obviously important, but still surface level compared to what I’m about to share in the next section.

It is also worth noting that these “BANT-style” questions are problem dependent. The scope and severity of the buyer/company’s problem will naturally influence their budget, urgency, and decision dynamics.

The downside of these questions is they are inherently seller focused. They serve your process more than the buyer’s experience and add little value. When overdone, which it often is, it drains energy from the conversation and creates buyer resistance.

That’s why extracting this information must be done delicately. Be sensitive and attuned to the energetic balance between giving and getting. Most sellers screw this up.

Related readings:

-

If you’re looking for more examples of Questions that Determine fit, these 6 questions have become a staple of mine and many of my clients:

**Chad note: Obviously not all need to be asked because some will be answered indirectly depending on the conversation.

Guiding Realizations

These are the questions where the selling really happens.

If the first category (fit questions) is about understanding the surface level logistics, these are the questions that move people. They also serve as effective follow up questions to the “fit questions” too.

It is a lot of fun when executed well!

When I teach clients how to guide others to a realization, we start with this fundamental principle:

Selling is a deliberate and intentional way of communicating that gets the other side to discover or realize the truth themselves.

People buy emotionally, and justify it intellectually. This is how every decision is made.

So the next step is to design questions that guide the buyer through that decision making process. By leading both the heart and the mind to new realizations.

You’re satisfying both “internal advisors” inside the human being in front of you.

Selling to the Heart

Non Verbal & Vibes

The simplest (but not easiest) way to create emotional connection is to embody the emotion you want to elicit.

You model what’s disowned or unexpressed in the other person which acts as an implicit invitation for them to feel it too.

In my humble cartoon opinion, you can’t be as effective as you could be until you actually feel the emotion you’re trying to evoke. You don’t have to feel it in the moment, but you must at least be able to share in the experience of the other.

On some level, we’re all judged by our ability to relate. And if you want to be convincing, then your ability to relate is critical.

Don’t just say “Oh that’s frustrating” .. actually mean it:

“Oh wow.. ugh.. *slight pause*.. that is frustrating..” said with a felt sense of frustration

or

“That seems really annoying” delivered with genuine annoyance. Not a flat “Sorry to hear that”

Saying it vs meaning it is the difference between connection and disconnection. It’s almost entirely non verbal (tone, intention and vibe)

Technique: Emotional Priming

Before your meetings, recall two real experiences from your own life:

1. a time you felt deep frustration, pain, or annoyance about something unresolved

2. a time you felt genuine hope or excitement about a possible solution

Sit with each memory and notice what it felt like.

Those are the poles your buyers live between: Pain and Possibility.

Now when you’re in a meeting, whether the buyer is leading with Pain or Possibility, recall those feelings. Let them subtly affect and color your tone and body language.

Simple reflective statements such as “That’s frustrating” or “That’s exciting” will land with more resonance.

Word Choice and Framing

Getting the non verbal right will do much of the heavy lifting for you. But language is still important.

You can add emotional charge and “texture” to your questions by playing with the word choice and Framing:

🤡: Do you have adequate coverage every month and reporting period?

🐲: Are you happy with the amount and quality of coverage you have for every reporting period?

or

🐲: When you think about coverage for the last reporting period, or the ones before that.. I mean, are you happy with the quality?

—

🤡: How would things change for you and the team if you weren’t “getting down to the wire” every month?

^ feels too leading. delivery would need to be immaculate.

🐲: When you say your team is “getting down to the wire” .. what’s that like?

-

Inject more emotion and imagery into your phrasing:

“You’re scrambling to get the reports done each month?”

“It seems like you kind of have your hands tied trying to manage all this”

“That sounds like a nightmare”

The realization you’re guiding them to has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE RATIONAL MIND. This is purely emotional with the intent of increasing their awareness about how they feel about their situation.

Selling to the Mind

The mind is the domain of thinking.. of reasoning, evaluating, and drawing conclusions.

It always looks for evidence to justify the beliefs that were usually made unconsciously and emotionally. And it’s in the mind that we create the stories that define who we are and how we operate.

If you’ve done the emotional work right, the mind becomes receptive. It is ready to make sense of what the heart feels.

That said, the mind still needs data, i.e: numbers, ROI, facts, proof. Especially in B2B.

The mind also:

• Clings to stories, even if they are wrong, in order to maintain certainty.

• Argues if it feels threatened

• Creates problems that don’t exist. And downplays the ones that do.

Create the Frame they’d want to enter

Demonstrate you understand why the problems that the person is already emotionally invested in solving for, exists, as well as or ideally, better than they do.

Do it through your questions and the insights embedded in both your questions and answers.

This creates the opening and receptivity to then show how people or companies like them are getting what they want by using your solution (typically done via a live demonstration, case studies, etc)

Demonstrating you understand why their problems exist

This only matters if they are emotionally invested in solving their problem. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time engaging in mental gymnastics.

Ask yourself:

• Why does this problem exist?

• What creates or sustains it?

• What are the real root causes?

Knowing this implies you also know how to solve it. This is how you create the perception of Status. How you Prize yourself.

I tell every client to research the problem they solve for and best practices / new ways to solve it like they are running a 7 figure consultancy.

You’d know your shit like the back of your hand wouldn’t you?

Study regularly.

From there ask questions that make the buyer realize two things:

1. You get it

2. You might be the one who can fix it

Technique 1: “Are you able to..?”

One of my favorite questions. It does two things simultaneously:

1. Reveals a potential problem

2. Creates intrigue.

When someone hears “Are you able to do X?” the mind reacts by asking:

“Should we able to?” or “Why can’t we?”

That moment of reflection is gold, anon.

Framework:

“Are you able to.. → [insert the better process/technology your company has]?”

Example:

🐲: Are you able to feed personalized buyer info directly to your marketing campaigns to improve the odds of conversion?

>>No, we can’t.

Which leads to..

Technique 2: If/Then Chains

“If/Then” questions guide the prospect to reason through the consequences of their current situation:

🐲: If you’re treating every lead the same, then how do you expect conversion rates to improve?

»Yeah.. I guess we can’t..

🐲: And if that keeps happening, then how do you plan to scale the business, or sell it in 5 years?

*realization sets in*

Try this and see how it works for you. If you want help applying this in your world then let’s chat and see if the Accelerator and/or 1:1’s are the right choice for you.

Programs & Trainings

The Accelerator

A high intensity 12 week group coaching program. Limited to 10 participants. Through live teachings and active roleplaying, you’ll learn how to deeply understand your buyers, ask powerful questions, and be in control of your deals.

More details here:

—

If you’re ready to enroll, you can here:

Enroll now

The Chad Salesman Course

My flagship course. A no-BS self study course that transforms average sellers into top performers.

Check it out

I’ll keep it updated as new ones are published, so you can always come back here to find everything in one place.

You can also find this post under “Important Links”

Programs & Trainings

The Accelerator

A high intensity 12 week group coaching program. Limited to 10 participants. Through live teachings and active roleplaying, you'll learn how to deeply understand your buyers, ask powerful questions, and be in control of your deals.

More details here:

—

If you’re ready to enroll, you can here:

Enroll now

The Chad Salesman Course

My flagship course. A no-BS self study course that transforms average sellers into top performers.

Check it out

I ask my questions so that they can hear themselves say their answers out loud. This is very important because what we tell ourselves is more persuasive than what any outside person can tell us.

I ask thought provoking questions and breathe into the tension. I don’t “leave”

My questions are engineered to guide the person to say what I want to tell them and/or point them to where their thinking leads. I know I’m doing it right when the other person is effectively doing all the selling or disqualifying themselves.

This is the basis of Socratic Questioning:

However, Socratic Questioning alone may not be enough. Not every prospect wants to play “21 questions” with you and sometimes you need to be more direct.

This is where Perspective Sharing comes in (Framing/Reframing). Setting new psychological context using the information that has been established and/or from my own experience/observations.

You never want to use these tools to beat the other side with the Truth. No matter how bad you want to get them to see the Truth.

You can’t skip steps.. unless invited.

I understand what it’s like to sit there screaming on the inside “I KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM!!” but the buyer isn’t interested in hearing you. I also know what it’s like to tell the buyer what they should do, uninvited, and having it blow up in my face. This is a dilemma that every salesperson needs to learn to navigate.

a more useful way forward is to share my perspective and invite them to see themselves within the context of what I just shared and then observe how they react. If I feel them moving towards me, I continue. If I don’t, then that’s okay too. Your perspectives will be the most powerful when they are coming from a place of pattern recognition, expertise, and outcome independence.

I have no real investment or desire in making the other person wrong or convincing them of anything although it may appear the opposite given how intense or passionate I can be. My passion is in inner truth. Shattering illusions. I make myself aware of this distinction so I can avoid tricking myself into thinking it’s the former and then acting out from that place in self-defeating ways.

I’m also not afraid of feeling my need. I am not deterred by rejection. You can’t reject me, only my proposition or solution. It’s never personal. It only feels that way because of all the projection and transference. This is another dilemma all salespeople need to deal with.

Being more comfortable with that dilemma frees up the energy to allow your observations to pierce through their cognitive defenses.

And so the invitation here is:

Can you slow down?

Can you trust that you don’t need to fill in the silence? That you are allowed to take your time?

That there is nothing to prove to anyone and there is inherent value in your BEING there and sharing what you SEE?

And can you lean into the uncertainty and trust that the destination will have been worthwhile?

This is what means to be the Mirror.

Programs & Trainings

The Accelerator

A high intensity 12 week group coaching program. Limited to 10 participants. Through live teachings and active roleplaying, you'll learn how to deeply understand your buyers, ask powerful questions, and be in control of your deals.

More details here:

—

If you’re ready to enroll, you can here:

Enroll now

The Chad Salesman Course

My flagship course. A no-BS self study course that transforms average sellers into top performers.

Check it out

You can read past Q&As by searching “Q&A” on the blog

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The interviewer asked him, on the spot, to sell him an item. Being put on the spot is hard no matter who you are.

However, I did notice a few things in this gurus approach:

1. He started with basic fact finding questions. Some were good i.e “Do you own one already?” and some more traditional i.e “Which color is your favorite?”

2. He asked leading questions in the hopes that he can recreate the same pattern of past buying behavior in the present i.e “At what point did you realize you wanted one?” → “What point would you need to reach to feel like you need this?”

Those trained in the 🐲 arts can see leading questions coming from a mile away. Not to say they can’t work, but you need to tread carefully with them.

And that was it from the gurus side before he stopped the roleplay.

Watching this guru try to sell the item inspired me to share my approach + my thought process.

In this example, I used a watch:

My thought process

My belief is that my job is to get you to justify buying my solution.

If you can really internalize this belief, then you will be in the right headspace for selling and constructing your “argument”

I don’t mean argument in the sense that I am arguing or trying to convince the buyer of my point, at least not in the traditional sense. Instead, I first start with where I’m trying to guide the conversation.

What am I trying to get this person to realize by the end of our conversation? From there, I can either work backwards or go step by step forward towards that end point.

When salespeople ask me which questions they need to ask, they are focusing on the wrong thing.

The better question is:

🐲: If I want the buyer to realize XYZ on their own, what questions will lead them to that conclusion without me stating it directly?

Most sales meetings feel like they are moving sideways because there is no clear end state or conclusion to work toward. Where are you trying to take this person?

While I often recommend “Next steps or No” as a general conclusion to work towards, the reality is obviously more nuanced. In complex deals, your target conclusion might be simply getting the prospect to recognize that a problem even exists or acknowledge the cost of inaction.

The key is defining what specific realization you want the prospect to reach by the end of the conversation.

In the watch example, what I wanted the buyer to realize was the true value of the watch to them.. not through me telling them why they should value it, but through leveraging their own reasoning process.

Specifically, I wanted them to:

1. Articulate to me, in their own words, the specific attributes they value in the Rolex. Features, Benefits, etc.

2. Acknowledge the financial value they place on it.

3. Recognize that they made a judgement on the watch’s value without me needing to pitch a single feature.

The uniqueness of this approach is that regardless of whether they tell me “Yes” or “No” to selling it for $50k, they will have reached the same realization:

This watch has significant value that they themselves articulated and defended.

Throughout the dialogue I am transferring ownership of the product, and justification for why they should buy, to the person most qualified to make that argument:

The Buyer.

This approach is also unique because the buyer rarely realizes what’s happening in the moment. The entire process is subtle and disarming. They don’t see the persuasion coming or happening, creating ideal conditions for them to convince themselves

Step by Step Breakdown

1. Defy expectations

Those who have gone through my course will identify the Power Frame at the beginning by saying “No thanks”.. this interrupts the Baseline Frame by making them chase me and not the other way around. I need this momentum to continue pulling them in. Them responding with “why not?” is the indicator that they are hooked and now I have my opening.

2. Elicit a defense

Saying “Because I don’t see anything special about this watch” is sharing my reasoning to trigger their natural impulse to change my mind so they can defend their position. They are probably thinking “What an idiot! Doesn’t he know this is a Rolex?!?” Good. I have him right where I want him.

3. Reframing Positions

Instead of me being the owner of the watch that needs to sell it to him. He becomes the owner of it and needs to tell me why he bought it. Asking him if he owns the watch creates the justification needed to make my job easier. He already owns the watch. All I need is to find out why he owns it and what the conditions for buying it were.

4. Line of Questioning

Each question is deliberate and intentional. The aims are to get them to:

• Articulate the personal value (“What made you choose this particular watch?”)

• Tell me the benefits (“What specifically draws you to Rolex?”) .. the “I’ve never owned one myself” bit is to disarm them by appearing ignorant with the aim of enticing them to share as much information as possible.

• Confirm social proof and market value of the Rolex (“People typically invest how much for a timepiece like this?”) .. again continuing to play dumb.

• Defend the value using their own experience (“Oh wow.. and from your experience, that investment has been worthwhile?”)

• Lock in the “buying decision” (“Would you part with it for $50,000?”)

This sets me up so that no matter what they say they will have made the argument for me.

5. The Cherry on top

“And that’s how I’d sell it” is to also Frame the entire experience as one giant demonstration. Gives the other person that “awe” factor.

Practice

The way you get good at this is by practicing creating dialogues similar to this one. Even if you can’t execute them perfectly in real meetings you will gain a ton of value from doing it anyway as it will build and refine your mental map.

I’ll leave you with a note I shared with one of the Accelerator cohorts:

Give yourself a strong foundation with clear structure and preparation. Really allow yourself to know what you're looking to do in your meetings. And then give yourself the grace to improvise within the structure as the conversation naturally flows.

You improve your odds of success by planning ahead because you already know the range of answers you're going to get based on the questions you ask. Buyers are predictable.

The idea that each buyer is so unique that we can't follow a structure is actually a limiting belief. Yes, you'll occasionally get curveballs. But you can handle those as they come.

This is about making high % choices.

My own sales meetings are mostly predictable. They typically follow 2-3 patterns 90%+ of the time. That predictability is what we're aiming for. The art is making it feel spontaneous.

If you want help with applying any of this in your world, then let’s talk.

Programs & Trainings

The Accelerator

A high intensity 12 week group coaching program. Limited to 10 participants. Through live teachings and active roleplaying, you'll learn how to deeply understand your buyers, ask powerful questions, and be in control of your deals.

More details here:

—

If you’re ready to enroll, you can fill out the form here:

Enroll now

The Chad Salesman Course

My flagship course. A no-BS self study course that transforms average sellers into top performers.

Check it out

Buyers will say things like “We need to improve efficiency” and the seller will often immediately jump to talking solutions, missing opportunities to uncover the deeper dynamics and subtext that actually drive buying decisions.

There are so many salespeople that are not even aware that they should be digging deeper (NGMI)

And for the sellers that are aware, they simply don’t know how to execute effectively.

I can help in both cases.

Starting with those who don’t know they need to be digging deeper:

YOU NEED TO BE GOING FUCKING DEEPER

There.

Now for those who know but don’t know how, I’ll show you how to do it.

The Problem with Traditional Discovery

When you tell a salesperson to “find XYZ” in their deals, such as pain, the gap, impact, etc.. you’re actually making it less likely they will find it.

Salespeople are incentivized to close deals, not to find reasons why deals shouldn’t happen. So when you tell them to look for, say impact, they’ll see it everywhere.. even where it doesn’t exist.

Let me illustrate with a personal example.

I have a friend who saw a dentist, a self proclaimed “cavity specialist” who diagnosed him with multiple cavities.

He gets a second opinion from a general dentist. No cavities.

What gives?

It’s not surprising if you are trained in the way of the 🐲..

If you got paid based on how many cavities you identified and filled, wouldn’t everything appear to be a cavity to you??

The same sort of confirmation bias plays out in sales..

Buyer: We want to be more efficient

Seller: Why?

Buyer: Because our marketing campaign approval process is taking too long

Seller: Why is this a problem?

Buyer: Because it’s delaying our launches and causing friction between marketing and compliance

🤡: Great, let me show you our workflow automation solution!

I bet if you asked this rep what the ‘impact’ or ‘pain’ was they would tell you with certainty the impact is “friction between marketing and compliance”

NGMI.

They think they’ve found a real problem, but they’ve barely scratched the surface.

They haven’t established how severe the delays are (Scale), how many campaigns are affected (Scope), or what’s truly at stake for the buyer personally if these delays continue (Stakes)

Without this context, the rep is just chasing their own projection.. not a real opportunity. The deal will either never close, or will only close after excessive time and effort, usually with concessions and discounts.

Why?

Because the pain currently felt simply isn’t compelling enough to drive decisive action.

F

Understanding the 3 Elements of a Problem

There are 3 elements to a problem that will help you understand if their problem is actually serious enough to justify action:

Scale: How big is the problem? (severity, magnitude, depth)

Scope: How widespread is the problem? (who’s affected, reach, extent)

Stakes: Why does it truly matter? (Consequences, personal impact, future implications)

You don’t need to deliberately hunt for or gather this specific information from buyers through Discovery (aka an interrogation for many of you!)

That will only create additional pressure on you and your buyers.

What you and so many salespeople desperately need is less, not more.

Less things to do.

Less things to remember.

Less things to say.

No.. instead I’m going to Reframe how you listen so you can use the buyers momentum to your advantage and naturally uncover this information without much thought.

The Reframe

First we need to get you in the right frame of mind.

🐲: You are an expert on the problem you solve. Now imagine that you are talking to a close friend you care deeply for who is complaining to you about the very problems you are an expert in solving. How would you behave with them?

From there we implement The 3S Framework (Scale, Scope, and Stakes) through Disqualification. Actively pushing against and challenging what the buyer tells you.

All you need to do is use what the buyer has just said in order to formulate what you say or ask next.

Example Dialogue

Buyer: We want to be more efficient.

🐲: What does that mean?

Buyer: We want to speed up our marketing approval process.. it's taking too long

🐲: Efficiency can mean a lot of things, and I know it’s rarely a priority by itself. So what’s making approval time important right now?

Buyer: We’re often getting delayed by a few days

🐲: An extra day or two in approvals doesn’t usually impact the business significantly..

Buyer: Well, it’s actually more than that. What used to take 1-2 days now takes anywhere from 7-10 days.

Chad note: Notice how minimizing “a few days” gets them to clarify and reveal more information

🐲: Even a week long approval process is pretty standard for most companies. What makes this a priority to solve now?

Buyer: Because we're in a competitive market. When our main competitor announces a feature, we need to respond quickly. These delays mean they're controlling the narrative.

🐲: I imagine this is just affecting a small part of your marketing operations though, right?

Buyer: No, it’s affecting all our campaigns across three product lines. That’s about 30 campaigns per quarter getting bottlenecked.

🐲: But companies find ways to work around these kinds of issues though. Is it really worth investing in a new solution?

Buyer: My team is measured on how quickly we get campaigns out and how fast we respond to market changes. I've missed my targets for two quarters now. My VP made it clear this needs to be fixed before our annual planning or it will affect our budget allocation and potentially my position on the leadership team.

🐲: And your VP is on board with putting in a new solution too? I imagine he can't be too happy about needing to allocate budget for a new solution rather than finding inexpensive workarounds.

Buyer: No he is not happy about it but he knows the workarounds aren't scalable.

🐲: What do you mean he knows the workarounds aren’t scalable?

Buyer: We’re doing manual reviews and email approvals right now, but we’re expanding into two new markets next quarter.

🐲: Lots of marketing teams can manage expansion with existing processes though. What makes this different?

Buyer: The team is already working weekends just to keep up with the current volume. My VP tried implementing a tracking spreadsheet, but it just created more admin work without fixing the delays. If we don’t find a solution that can handle our growth, we’ll miss our launch targets for the new markets.

🐲: Missing launch targets happens all the time though. Companies adjust and move on.

Buyer: Not in our industry. The first 30 days after launch represent nearly half of the product lifecycle revenue. If we miss that window, we’ll miss our annual targets. My VP has already been questioned about our delayed launches in the executive meetings.

Notice who is doing all the justifying, convincing, and explaining?

Why this works

• It Reframes the traditional power dynamic. Instead of you eagerly trying to prove your value and why they should change, the buyer is working to convince you that their problem needs solving.

• When you minimize their problem (“an extra day or two doesn't usually impact..), they feel the urge to clarify and defend.. the same way you do when buyers challenge you.

• Your skepticism helps buyers articulate their own problems more clearly. Often times they haven’t fully thought through their situation, so your disqualifying subtly forces them to think more deeply about their situation and why it matters.

• It feels more authentic than typical discovery. Rather than following an obvious script of probing & fact finding questions, the conversation flows naturally as a back and forth exchange between 2 human beings.

Limitations

Disqualification works well when buyers have at least some awareness of their problem, but there are limitations too.. particularly when buyers are truly clueless about what they need.

In those situations, a buyer might not have enough context to defend or expand on their statements when you challenge them. They might simply agree with your Disqualifying (“yeah, I guess it’s not that big a deal”) because they lack the expertise to articulate why their problem matters.

For uninformed buyers, you will need a hybrid approach.

a mix of Push and Pull. Some examples:

1) Start with some educational context setting before using Disqualification

Buyer: We need to be more efficient with our marketing.

🐲: Being more efficient with your marketing typically falls into three categories: process bottlenecks, tech automations, or resource allocation. Many of the companies we work with discover their biggest opportunities are in process bottlenecks, particularly around approvals and compliance. Do you consider yourself under one of those categories or is it something else?

Buyer: Yes, approvals are definitely slow.

🐲: I see.. Though most companies manage to work around approval delays without significant impact. What makes you think this is affecting your business?

This approach provides educational framing first, then transitions to soft disqualification once they have context.

2) Use softer forms of Disqualification that guide rather than challenge

Buyer: Our marketing approvals are slow.

🐲: Some delays in approvals are normal and can even be beneficial for ensuring quality. What specifically about your current timeline doesn’t seem to be working for your team?

Buyer: Well, I’m not sure exactly, but our campaigns seem to take forever to launch.

🐲: I hear that a lot. Companies that struggle with this usually see impacts in one of three areas: missed market opportunities, team burnout, or inconsistent messaging. Do you resonate with any of this or maybe seeing something else on your end?

This approach gives the buyer options to choose from rather than outright challenging their frame.

3) Use companies similar to them as examples of what’s possible

🐲: How familiar are you with us and what we do?

Buyer: Not very to be honest.. heard about you guys from XYZ and was interested to learn more

🐲: Why? What’s going on?

Buyer: We want to improve our marketing efficiency.

🐲: I hear that a lot, but it helps to understand what specific issues you’re seeing. We recently worked with a company similar to yours who initially just wanted to “improve marketing efficiency”.. and when we dug deeper, we discovered their real issue was with approval bottlenecks. Their compliance team was taking 2-3 weeks to review campaigns, which meant they were constantly missing opportunities. Is your team experiencing any specific bottlenecks like that? or is it something else?

Buyer: Actually, yes. Getting approvals does take longer than it should.

🐲: What kind of timeline are we talking about for approvals? Because some delay is normal in most organizations.

Buyer: I’m not sure exactly, but it feels like weeks sometimes.

🐲: What opportunities might you be missing when campaigns are delayed by a few weeks?

Buyer: Well, our competitors often respond to market changes faster than we do. By the time we get our campaigns approved, they’re already out there promoting.

🐲: And as a result do you believe you’re missing opportunities? Many companies operate successfully reagardless if they’re not first to promote.

This approach uses social framing mixed with soft disqualification to help get the buyer talking. Stronger Disqualification will come as the buyer gains more clarity.

Start now

There’s a lot of nuance to Disqualification that I’ll write about in future posts, but this framework gives you a solid foundation to start with today.

The next time a buyer mentions a problem, resist your natural urge to pounce on it as validation for them needing your solution. Instead just take a deep breath and gently push back. Question whether it’s significant enough to solve. Minimize it slightly and see how they respond.

This approach is brutally effective at separating real opportunities from time wasters.

If they can't defend why their problem matters when challenged, you’re probably wasting your time on a bad deal or one that will never close.

Programs & Trainings

The Accelerator

A high intensity 12 week group coaching program. Limited to 10 participants. Through live sessions and active roleplaying, you'll learn how to deeply understand your buyers, ask powerful questions, and be in control of your deals.

More details here:

—

If you’re ready to enroll, you can also fill out the form here:

Enroll now

The Chad Salesman Course

My flagship course. A no-BS self study course that transforms average sellers into top performers.

Check it out

Read more

The deeper I went into it, the more I’d sit there smiling at all the connections I would make.

Improv Basics

One of the first things you learn in an Improv 101 class is this idea of “yes, and” which means to agree and then add new information.

This is basic, yet essential.

If you’re not saying ‘Yes’ to your scene partner you are not doing good improv.

Example

Player A: The kitchen smells like pizza!

Player B: Yes, and I got us 2 pies!

Chad Note: Player B “yes, anded” Player A’s choice by building on the information that Player A laid out.

When you’re “blocking” and not “Yes, anding” the same conversation would instead look like this:

Player A: The kitchen smells like pizza!

Player B: We’re not in the kitchen

or

Player B: No it doesn’t

If you have done improv you know how awful it is to be on the receiving end of this!

Chad-prov note: Characters can say No to each other, but improvisers must say Yes.

—

The biggest roadblock, especially for beginners, is accepting the reality of their scene by saying ‘Yes’ to whatever happens.

Saying “yes” is difficult because you've got to embrace whatever direction things are going, even if it wasn't your idea or you think it’s not a good idea. And we know that most people prefer to say No because that’s what we do IRL

The next challenge is then learning how to add information in a way that is focused and not overwhelm the scene with too many new elements. “Bring the brick not the cathedral” as they say.

Doing these two things might seem easy.. but it’s not. These are skills that take a while to get good at. But they can be learned.

Improv trains your ability to react in the heat of the moment. This is what makes Improv an extreme sport. And fun too.

Now imagine replacing the improv terminology in this text with sales terminology.

You’d be describing the same necessary skills.

“I know, and”

One of my improv teachers, who shall remain nameless but is a legend nonetheless, introduced us to a subtle, but powerful twist on “Yes, and”

He taught us to say "I know, and" instead.

While “Yes, and” is foundational, he argued it can sometimes lead to shallow scenes that feel like a series of transactions.

Example

Player A: Let’s clean the house

Player B: Yes and let’s clean the kitchen

Player A: Yes and let’s invite Chad over after

Things aren’t really happening here. There’s more planning than there is doing.

“I know, and” reframes this dynamic.

Player A: Let’s clean the house

Player B: I know, and I shouldn’t have invited so many people over last night. But I couldn’t resist!

Player A: I know, and it was your 40th birthday.. who am I tell you “No”??

Player B: I know, and that’s what I love about you. You get me, Chad.

Chad-prov note: Notice how saying “I know” naturally lead to creating a deeper connection between the characters? Saying “I know” makes it easier to create that connection.

Saying “I know” suggests a shared history, understanding, and even intimacy.

Instead of just accepting what's happening, you're acknowledging a deeper relationship with your scene partner.

And in the context of a 2-5 minute scene, you don’t have the time to explain all the backstory and get the audience up to speed. And the audience doesn’t really want to see that either. They want to see what’s happening between you two now. The past should only serve as context to serve the present.

Improv → Sales

What if we said “I know” to our buyers more?

What would saying “I know” more do for the connection in the span of a 25-30 min conversation?

How do you think saying “I know” would affect your perceived authority? How would that affect the connection and vibes?

My mentor would often say:

“Never act surprised when buyers tell you something you should know, but don't. it undermines your Authority.”

Thank you bro.

Real World Examples of “I know, and”

Buyer: I showed our CEO your content. He likes it.. he just thinks it’s weird that you’re a cartoon.

🐲: I know, and I actually think it’s kind of funny.. don’t you?

I reframe ‘weird’ as ‘funny’ and ask for agreement on my frame.

*laughter ensues*

to which I follow up with:

🐲: I know it’s funny, and think about it.. if a cartoon’s sales advice is worthy of getting the attention of your CEO, what does that say about the content?

or

🐲: I know. So is that why we’re not going to move forward towards the training?

—

Buyer: We've tried [type of software] before and it was always a hassle. The team prefers not to use it.

🐲: I know, they typically are a huge hassle. Do you know why that is?

Buyer: Because of XYZ

🐲: Not only that. Sometimes there’s issues with ABC too.

Buyer: Yeah true

🐲: Knowing what the frustrations are can you think of a way to eliminate or fix those issues while still getting the benefits of [software use case]

Buyer: You’d probably need to.. *describes what your solution does / solves for*

🐲: And if I told you we’ve done just that.. you’re probably going to tell me it’s not even worth taking a look?

Buyer: Hmm no I wouldn’t say that..

Breakdown

“I know” = Pacing + Pattern Interrupt.

“they typically are” = subtext is you have experience and know what you’re talking about. the word ‘typically’ leaves room for exceptions (your solution)

“huge hassle” = widening their Frame which is Disarming

“do you know why that is?” = intrigue + sets you up to create differentiation. Remember in order to be seen as better you must first be seen as different.

The buyer expects you to try and convince them otherwise by justifying and defending your position.

They expect you to say:

“No, but..” or “Yes, but..”

We do the opposite.

We say “I know, and” and get them to sell to us.

other solid responses:

🐲: I know, and unfortunately that’s a common experience with outdated tech! Are you open to seeing how we do things differently?

🐲: I know, and that’s why we got rid of all unnecessary features and focused on the top 3 that teams use daily and have it fit right into their existing workflow.. with no extra tabs or logins.

Saying “I know, and” even before you know what to say next is also in the improv spirit. You will find the words to say next because saying “I know and” first will give you a creative constraint that your brain will use to justify what to say next.

More Connections

I’m all for creating deeper connections with our buyers. Not BS rapport building techniques, but genuine and deep connections. Getting those walls to come down. That’s where the magic is.

The key is to be fully present and attuned to the person in front of you. When you respond with “I know, and” from that state, your words will be received as comforting and disarming. People deeply desire to be seen, heard, and validated.

—

“I know, and” is a concentrated form of Pacing and Leading.

while pacing and leading typically occurs over time (first matching someone’s perspective before guiding them to a new perspective).. “I know, and” does this in a single moment. The ‘I know’ serves as the pace, while ‘and’ acts as the lead.

The people closest to your buyer are likely saying “I know” to them regularly. When you say it too, it creates an unconscious association of familiarity. Trust gets unconsciously associated to you because of 2 words. You’re joining those trusted voices who validate them.

—

Saying “I know, and” is also a subtle demonstration of amused mastery. It exudes a “been there, done that” attitude.

It’s also got Commodity Framing engineered into it that’s great for deflating objections:

Prospect: Your price is high compared to your competitors!

🤡: Omg wait I can explain!

🐲: I know, and those guys aren’t charging less because they’re being generous

You can have fun with it.

“Sales is a lot like acting!”

I know.

Programs & Trainings

The Accelerator

A high intensity 12 week group coaching program. Limited to 10 participants. Through live sessions and active roleplaying, you'll learn how to deeply understand your buyers, ask powerful questions, and be in control of your deals.

More details here:

—

If you’re ready to enroll, you can also fill out the form here:

Enroll now

The Chad Salesman Course

My flagship course. A no-BS self study course that transforms average sellers into top performers.

Check it out

Context

I wrote this post through the lens of B2B SaaS since it’s more relatable to you than my context of selling sales training.

However, the underlying purpose of each question in this post remains the same regardless of what you sell. It’s the Framing of the question that changes based on your context (in this case, SaaS)

Question #1

🐲: What's an ideal outcome for this meeting?

There’s good ambiguity and bad ambiguity.

Good ambiguity = I’ve done what I needed to and now need to wait and see what happens

Bad ambiguity = I’m missing critical context

Asking this at the start of a meeting clarifies the buyers position.

Where are they at in terms of readiness? What are their expectations? This is critical info to know when you don’t have a lot of context.

You can follow up their answer by asking:

🐲: and assuming you get [recap what they tell you], what happens next?

or

Asking these questions helps you to avoid wasting time by understanding their buying / evaluation criteria upfront.

Chad note: notice how I didn’t ask “what would you like to get out of this meeting?” .. this wording suggests an unfair dynamic where the buyer will be doing all the taking.. and what do you get in return? NOTHING.

Asking “What’s an ideal outcome for you?” sort of creates this giant Frame and invites the buyer to fill in the details with their expectations while you sit back and look at how you want to deal with that Frame

Question #2

🐲: What would need to happen for it to be clear that implementing our solution was successful and justified the investment?

Define their success metrics upfront. You’ll quickly know if you can get them there or not. Why wouldn’t any seller want to know this in the first meeting is beyond me. Too many are addicted to Hopium.

I want clarity. Always.

Asking this question also reframes the conversation from ‘cost’ to ROI / Value. The buyer will define success from their perspective to which you can reference later in the sales process as the sort of North Star to keep things on track. You’re not just the seller, you’re also the quarterback of your deals.

Whatever they tell you can also be used as a nice Moral Authority frame:

🐲: At the end of the day/Bottomline/What’s most important here is you are trying to do [their definition of success] with your business so everything should be in support of that goal.

Question #3

🐲: Why can't you do that today?

This questions reveals the perceived obstacles to achieving the success metrics in question 2. Many times your buyer will give a long winded answer to this question revealing which challenges are both significant and emotionally relevant to them. It’s all about paying attention to the non-verbal cues as they speak and knowing which thread you want to pull next.

If you are a true domain authority, you know 9/10 times the problem the buyer tells you is never the real problem to be solved.

This sets you up to challenge them and take control in this part of the meeting.

FEW.

Question #4

🐲: Why now? What happens if you wait?

This question is best asked indirectly. Asking straight up “Why now?” is riskier as many sellers robotically follow their MEDDPICC frameworks ask this question so bluntly which raises buyers defenses.

Variations:

🐲: Why can’t it wait?

🐲: Why not 6 months from now?

🐲: Nobody wakes up one day saying they need new software. What happened / What is going on?

The objective here is to see if there is any compelling event / urgency. This can be any sort of internal / external pressures driving the buyers need to change.

You need to be feeling out the vibes here. There should be enough energy behind the buyer that’s led them to this point of needing to take action.

‘Feel’ their answer in your body as your source of truth. Can’t rationalize this.

If you’re not convinced by their answer, you need to gently press for more context.

Question #5

🐲: What is it about [feature/solution] that you believe will be right for you?

You can emphasize the solution early in the meeting.

or You can emphasize the feature if discussing the product.

The Framing of this question gets the prospect selling themselves on the feature / solution.

Pay close to attention to their answer as they will be indirectly telling you how to Frame your solution back to them.

Weave in the points they tell you are important to them into your demos as you hold the mirror up.

Question #6

🐲: The investment range to work with us is anywhere from X to Y depending on your requirements... any issues with those initial numbers?

• Reframes ‘cost’ to ‘investment’ while also addresses logistics in the first meeting.

• ‘Depending on your requirements’ is a different way to say ‘because’. It creates a strong justification. i.e Because pricing depends on your requirements, I need to do more Discovery in order to understand your requirements.

• 'Initial' numbers is disarming & non committal yet enough context to quickly Disqualify out tire kickers

There is no sense in continuing if the buyer isn’t able and willing to buy what you have.. unless of course you just want to make new friends. Have fun with that.

You can argue that one should wait until value is delivered first before talking numbers. In complex deal environments selling to well funded companies where the range varies greatly, sure.

But the vast majority of salespeople aren’t selling into these segments. So why dance around the talk of commercials? You do realize many of your buyers aren’t even paying attention to your demos because all they can think of is how much this will cost them.

Dumb tactics enforced by incompetent management.

When in doubt, talk commercials early. Give a range of pricing. Something. And if the buyer is budget sensitive, then deal with it then. Don’t try to convince them to justify the cost by showing them a demo. Waste. of. time.

Programs & Trainings

The Accelerator

A high intensity 12 week group coaching program. Limited to 10 participants. Through live sessions and active roleplaying, you'll learn how to deeply understand your buyers, ask powerful questions, and be in control of your deals.

More details here:

—

If you’re ready to enroll, you can also fill out the form here:

Enroll now

The Chad Salesman Course

My flagship course. A no-BS self study course that transforms average sellers into top performers.

Check it out

Read more

These posts share some of the key insights I give clients during our trainings.

Note: I intentionally keep the descriptions vague for privacy reasons.

What we’re covering in this post:

- How vague cold emails can backfire with technical decision makers, and why specificity with relatability are powerful tools when combined. Includes before/after templates.

- Example of creating a line of questioning that Raises the Stakes. See what making high % choices looks like.

- Listen to me train a recruiter live on how to sound powerful at the start of his meetings. 10 minutes of audio training from the Accelerator.

- How to find the “hard truths” that can transform your conversations.

When Vague Cold Emails Backfire

Specificity and Relatability are two powerful tools for cold emailing.

• Specificity = precise and detailed language

• Relatability = how deep your message resonates with the buyers reality

When combined, they create a powerful Disqualifying effect.

A message that's both specific and relatable forces prospects to decide how they feel about your email - they either see themselves clearly in your words or they don't.

You get faster decisions. Either clear interest or quick No’s - eliminating the maybes, which is really just a “Slow No” that wastes everyone’s time.

Sure, it is a higher risk approach. A prospect saying ‘No’ to you now can hurt your chances of a ‘Yes’ later on because of Consistency Bias.

The way to de-risk here would be to Reframe the ‘No’ to a ‘not right now’ by giving them a specific offer to say No to instead of giving them the opportunity to say No to you.

When it comes to technical decision makers (High C’s in DISC).. writing a specific & relatable cold email is more likely to be viewed favorably than a vague email because it eases their natural skepticism towards salespeople while pacing their analytical nature.

I recently coached an SDR on this scenario.

They were using my cold email templates from the course and X, but the emails didn’t perform as well.

He sells for a reputable company and his territory is fine. I believe the issue was the emails lacked the technical specificity & relatability needed in order to elicit intrigue for this audience.

This doesn’t mean he needs to start writing longer emails (although I’ve seen this work well too in other contexts)

And this doesn’t mean you should never send a vague cold email to a technical decision maker. It just means you need to try different approaches and see what works for you. Like my client did / is doing.

Let’s look at his messaging.

Original Template example

subject line: Re: an idea(s)

Hey {{first_name}} - {insert relevant company personalization}

We recently partnered with two companies in your space (can't namedrop out of respect for privacy) to work with addressing some of the following issues:

-slow development cycles

-inconsistent code quality across teams

-challenges in keeping up with evolving best practices (especially with react/next.js)

I don’t know if this is at all relevant for you. If not, that’s okay.

If so, the next step would be a meeting to discuss further.

Let me know either way.

—

My Analysis of the original email

This is a great example of what happens when sellers piece-meal various “winning tactics” without understanding the underlying principles and how they work together to create the right vibe / experience.

Without this you risk creating messages that are inconsistent and incongruent. It’s the equivalent of using ingredients from different recipes without understanding how flavors work together.

Before sending your next cold email / DM, put yourself in the prospects shoes:

• Read your email outloud as if you're receiving it

• If you feel any resistance or skepticism, that’s a signal to revise

Repeat this process until the email feels right in your body.

Revised version

Let’s look at how I’ve combined Specificity and Relatability in the revised version:

Specificity

- [key task/outcome] forces you to name the technical process

- [Technical pain] names exact pains they face daily + people are more motivated to avoid pain than chase potential benefits

- 3 specific links to Frame their range of “next steps”

- Specific (and visual imagery) - “You can prompt your way to working applications”

Relatability

- Starting with Intrigue “thought you might find this interesting”

- “Dev teams” to create social connection

- Casual vibes with phrases like “eliminating the need for” and “you can essentially prompt your way to”

- Feels like helpful sharing vs selling/pitching

The new template is also flexible. The SDR can test different angles while keeping the same structure

Example

Angle 1 (Code Quality)

“debugging and migrating code”

Angle 2 (Speed)

“ship features in hours, not weeks”

Angle 3 (Efficiency)

“automate entire or specific parts of workflow”

All by adjusting the [key task/outcome] and [technical pains] parameters.

Raising the Stakes

Below is an example of an exercise we did in The Accelerator where we practiced “Raising the Stakes”

Raising the Stakes means helping your buyer see the full scope and consequences of their situation. This enables you to discover if there is any urgency and helps your buyer justify the change.

Raising the Stakes well creates leverage.

The Exercise

We analyze a typical buyer conversation and workshop different responses based on the sellers experience. The focus is to identify the most effective responses - those with the highest probability of achieving our objective of raising the stakes.

Study the dialogue below and pay attention to the various seller responses. The bolded answers represent our recommended choice.

As you review them, consider why these particular responses were chosen over the alternatives. This analysis will help develop your critical thinking.

—

»Buyer: We’re interested in talking to you. We have a few security folks on our team.. we’re spending a decent amount of time managing the rule sets.. It’d be nice if we had more visibility into the security logs

Various responses:

1. In terms of visibility into the security logs, why is that important today?

2. Sounds like visibility might be an area of improvement.. When did you notice it was something that could be improved?

3. What’s been going on that led you to want to have better visibility?

4. Oh and why do you want more visibility into the security logs?

5. You’re spending a decent amount of time managing rule sets and you want more visibility into security logs.. Which is more important right now?

»Buyer: lack of visibility

Why?

»Buyer: It’s tough to know what we’re blocking and what we’re allowing through

Various responses:

1. I’m assuming you’re blocking enough of the bad traffic.. It’s not much of an issue.. you’re okay with it so far?

2. Oftentimes customers tell us they’re blocking legitimate traffic or they’re missing certain attacks that scrape data from the site.. Are these things that you’re finding?

3. Are you concerned that you’re blocking legitimate traffic or that you’re allowing site scraping bots into your site?

4. But why is that a problem?

»Buyer: We’re having our big sale coming up in December and we’re concerned that we might be blocking good traffic while trying to stop the bad traffic

1. Is the issue that you’re missing sales or missing customers?

2. So what happens if you block good traffic?

3. What’s not working today?

4. Have you guys tried fixing this?

5. What is it about your current environment that has you concerned you might be blocking the good traffic?

6. How big of a campaign are we talking about here for December?

»Buyer: Typically 20% of our yearly revenue comes from this

1. In my experience with similar companies doing big promos in December, those opportunities are anywhere $2-$4 million dollars.. is that the same range here?

Chad note: a cold read! IYKYK

»Buyer: Yes

1. What is it about your current environment that has you concerned you might be blocking the good traffic?

2. Is this the only December you’re concerned with that you’ve blocked good traffic? What happened last year? Did you also block good traffic?

»Buyer: We think it might have but it’s tough to know for sure but I have the feeling we did

1. How does that feel knowing you probably blocked good traffic and missed out on 7 figure opportunities last year and it might happen again this year?

Buyer: not good.. we need to make sure it doesn’t happen again

This is just a taste of what we learn how to do in the Accelerator.

I train a recruiter on how to sound powerful at the start of a meeting

Context: He does well in terms of getting prospects to like him. But he struggles later on with getting to the truth. This happens because the prospect must also respect and defer to you as an authority in order to feel comfortable letting you help them. It’s not enough to just be liked. This 10 minute live audio is from the Accelerator:

Read more

He introduced me to the world of B2B sales. He set me on the path.

His wisdom came in many forms. Sometimes through direct teaching, other times through observation of him.

I recently found scribbled notes him and I wrote together in those early days.

Implementing these 5-6 points alone was a game changer for me. I immediately felt more powerful at the start of my meetings and the buyer adapted accordingly too.

Beautiful thing to see and experience. Truly.

That’s when I realized we have a lot more control of our outcomes than we give ourselves credit for.

and in sales, how you start largely influences how you finish so it makes sense to overly emphasize the first few minutes.

The rest of this post will build on these notes, sharing what I believe to be the 10 most significant lessons in dealmaking I learned from him.

Enjoy!

1) You have 60 seconds to convey you are powerful

“Why only 60 seconds?”

🐲: Because that’s when their initial & strongest perception of you is formed.

“What happens if you fail to convey power in the first minute?”

🐲: You’re f*cked. Nothing you say or do after that will matter because they will see you as the beta (Low Status).

🐲: *Proceeds to write ‘You are either POWERFUL or nothing really matters’*

“I’ve obviously closed deals without doing this or even being mindful of it, so what gives, Giga Chad?”

🐲: How hard did you work for those deals? How good were the terms? Did you have to discount?

*silence*

My mentor taught me that if I’m not proactive about taking the high status position at the start of a meeting then I will be put in the low status position.

🐲: You gotta come out the gate swinging.

And so I made some changes to my verbal / nonverbal communication:

• I’d lean back into my chair. Calm, relaxed, and *slightly* bored. When they’d lean in, I’d lean back in order to reinforce the dynamic that they’re chasing me, not the other way around.

• I’d emote slightly less than the buyer rarely exceeding their emotional state / vibes in order to remain in control.

• I’d wait for them to say “Hi” first in the beginning of the meeting to which I would reply with a neutral / downward inflection.. speaking from my diaphragm. They’re entering my world.

• I’d use phrases like “good to connect” with a friendly smile instead of the typical enthusiastic / nervous “great to meet you!” with a full smile.

If you give them the impression this meeting is the best part of your day, you are being needy.

“Giga Chad, these are a ton of rules to remember. Are they really necessary?”

🐲: *slap* .. This all might seem overly rules based.. but the rules are there to give you structure and to help you learn until it becomes engrained.

There was a method to the madness.. the purpose of all these lessons was to reinforce that I, the seller & the one with the solution, am the prize. Not the buyer / their money.

This was the beginning of establishing myself as a Domain Authority.

Someone the buyer can feel comfortable deferring to in order to help them.

And the truth is they wanted this too.

Deep down people crave certainty.

Give them what they want & need and get paid for it.

—

The genius of “You have 60 seconds to convey you are powerful” is also in the Framing of it.

The ‘60 seconds’ bit is a time constraint serving to focus my attention on the first 60 seconds. I became more self aware of what I was doing when it mattered most. This was the Pareto Principle found in Status Dynamics.

It was also efficient. ~1 minute of maximum intention in order to solidify my perception of Authority.

At first it was stressful and I made many mistakes (i.e being too stiff / robotic, being too friendly, etc.)

Over time I learned how to calibrate and it became second nature.

—

Pro tip

Starting from the High Status position is more credible when the buyer doesn’t know you. A strong initial presence gives you buffer room.. minor mistakes won't significantly damage your perception because your first impression established authority.

You can gradually soften this position over time. And it will be more rewarding when you do it.

But starting Low and then attempting to elevate your Status later is often perceived as manipulative and will raise their defenses.

2) Take hand notes

Giga Chad was adamant about taking hand notes for a few reasons:

• Taking notes by hand visibly demonstrated I was present and actively listening

• I gave off “Doctor/Therapist” vibes commanding attention whenever I looked up from writing (increasing the value of eye contact)

• It forced me to write down only the essential notes while subcommunicating to the buyer that I was discerning and had good judgement (bonus Delta points for me.. see tip #8 for reference)

• It helped slow the conversation down

• Drawing / Sketching on the paper helped me neutralize anxious energy which helped to lower inhibition and promote spontaneity. I became present again.

With all the AI note taking tools available nowadays, taking hand notes is a strong pattern interrupt. I encourage you to try it and see if it helps you.

At first it may feel clunky but over time your relationship to the pen and paper will improve.

**Yes you can and should still be using AI note taking apps. Combine it with pen / paper.

3) Don’t touch your face or anything the buyer can see

Face touching is often interpreted as “Self soothing” behavior that indicates to the buyer you are nervous and uncomfortable.

Those negative vibes will get transmitted to your buyer (via mirror neurons)

And now your buyer feels nervous and uncomfortable too.. *with you*

How do you think that impacts their confidence in you, anon?

DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE.

Watch any high status character on TV or live, you’ll notice they don’t really move their head while speaking or touch their face unless they’re doing so intentionally in order to punctuate their message.

Good examples of characters to look at:

Harvey Specter - Suits

Don Draper - Mad Men

Stephen Amell - Arrow

Their movement is mostly slow, relaxed, and deliberate.

Don’t lean forward

Another nervous habit is leaning forward. You are physically entering the buyers Frame with the subtext being “seeking security and connection”

It’s a physical manifestation of chasing.

Chad note: The flip side of this is it can show engagement and help to punctuate a message which can be seen as a positive.

But in my experience, most sellers don’t have an issue with “not enough engagement” .. They are often too engaged in the interaction which is what makes them nervous.

Ideal state is Calm, Relaxed,

and Moisturized.

4) Video is only legit if it’s reciprocated

Don’t leave your camera on if the buyer has theirs off.

Think about it.. you’re fully visible to their scrutiny while they maintain the upper hand behind their screen.

It’s also disrespectful on the buyer side to leave you on an Island like that. How do you know if the buyer is even present with you and not distracted?

If they can’t extend you the courtesy of having their video on too, then you turn yours off.

If you start the meeting with yours on and theirs is off, you can say:

🐲: Hey John, I can’t see you.

If they want to keep theirs off:

🐲: No problem. I’ll turn mine off too.

That way you level the playing field.

*It’s also totally reasonable to reschedule the meeting to when they can have their video on.

Makes for more productive meetings.

Meet in person if you can

Always preferable to meet in person than over Zoom!

My biggest / most significant deals? In person.

5) Every sale is a Frame game

My mentor believed that there’s conflict inherent in every sale.

When buyer and seller meet, they each bring their own Frame - a point of view (POV) shaped by their beliefs, assumptions, values, and biases. Frame determines how each side views the entire situation.

These Frames often clash, naturally, because the buyer sees the world one way, and the seller another. And therein lies the conflict.

Deals move when:

• One Frame emerges as dominant and/or compelling enough for the other side to adopt, even temporarily.

• There is enough alignment / overlap between the 2 from the beginning.. i.e small conflict.

Examples

• The Sellers Frame is the more dominant one leading the Buyer to “Closed Won”

• The Buyers Frame is the more dominant one by either leading the deal towards a ‘Yes’ (i.e order taking) or towards a ‘No’

There is no avoiding the conflict.

Some tension will be present in every deal because someone’s perspective has to shift in order to move forward.

And that can be uncomfortable depending on how incompatible the 2 Frames are at first.

Chad note: Most deals are lost to the Status Quo because both parties are locked in incompatible Frames.

Additional context

• Frame control isn't binary, it's fluid. Frame gets passed back and forth throughout the deal cycle based on each move and the reaction to each move by Buyer / Seller. Problems arise when the Sellers Frame is lost and not recovered.

• You can maintain Frame Control while accepting certain buyer constraints. For example, you can acknowledge their requirements and processes, but control how you navigate them.

The moment you start compromising your Frame (discounting, chasing, being overly pushy, etc), you've lost control regardless if you close the deal.

Professionals care about how they get results.

6) The longer you go without control of the Frame, the harder it will be to regain the Frame

Frame loss compounds over time making it increasingly difficult to course correct later.

When sellers ask me about difficult situations, I can often trace the problem back to earlier Frame losses they missed.

All your sales problems are a result of problems that happened upstream.

What you did or didn’t do upstream affects everything downstream.

Related reading:

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Think of a snowball rolling down hill progressively getting larger and less manageable over time:

As time passes, the buyer becomes more entrenched in their Frame (perspective) because of confirmation bias.

Everything happening afterwards only serves to strengthen their Frame.. essentially creating a self reinforcing downward spiral loop of f*cking you.

The Downward Spiral

Step 1: Lose Frame

Step 2: Buyer interprets your actions through their negative frame of you

Step 3: This interpretation confirms their bias / perspective

Step 4: This reinforces and strengthens their Frame

Repeat into a downward spiral.

The longer it continues, the harder it is to get out.

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This is why you gotta “Swat away” their attempts at taking control. Immediately.

And if they do gain control you need to quickly restore balance.

There is no “Oh, haha I see what they did there! I’ll just deal with that later”

No.

You see a threat to your deal you need to deal with it immediately.

7) “You/Me”

Those that have my course know this one.

Learning what Frame Control feels like in a meeting can be complicated at first because of its subjective experience.

My mentor taught me to write “You” on one side of a piece of paper and “Me” on the other side.

During my sales meetings, I’d flip the paper whenever I sensed the Frame shifting.

As I gained experience, I began to feel the difference between having and losing Frame.

These visceral experiences deepened my understanding because emotions were now part of the learning process.

Eventually, these teachings became so integrated that I could listen to client recordings and immediately pinpoint the exact moments where Frame shifts occur and understand why.

8) Fight for every little bit of delta

In every buyer / seller interaction you have a Status Gap. This is the contrast, or delta, in status between the 2 (or multiple parties)

Examples

• Experienced Seller selling to uninformed prospect (B2C) would indicate a Small Status Gap in the Seller’s favor.

• Startup Seller selling to C Suite of large B2B company would indicate a Big Status Gap against the Seller

  • Seller at reputable company selling to C suite of smaller less known company could indicate a Smaller Status Gap against the Seller or the buyer.. could go either way depending on additional details / context.

Chad note: Notice how the details / context can impact the Status Gap before the parties even meet?

You and the buyer will be saying / doing things throughout the your interactions that will either raise or lower status, which adds to the Delta in the Status Gap.

Fight for every delta point. Keep subtly raising your status in order to widen the delta of the status gap in your favor.

The larger the gap in your favor, the more influence you wield.

The larger the gap in your buyers favor, the more pressure there will be to adopt their Frame.

This one lesson alone has been a total game changer for me and why I dedicate an entire session to Status Dynamics, and how to influence them, in the Accelerator.

9) Good Reframes are Frame Inclusive

One way my mentor taught me to Reframe was to make sure that my Reframe was “Frame inclusive” which meant including the Buyers perspective, not dismissing it.

Example

Buyer: We’re concerned about implementation time since we need to train 50 people on this

🤡: That won’t be a problem. Our platform is so intuitive that getting them up to speed will be simple.

^ Dismissive tone masked as reassurance. Oversimplification demonstrates lack of experience. The confident tone becomes evidence of their naivety and/or dishonesty.

🐲: I get it. Rollout efficiency is a priority for us too which is why our approach to implementation is [explain process].. how does that sound so far?

^ Acknowledges their concern. Reframes their concern as something you actively focus on, not just respond to. Provides the buyer with specific details. Shows you’re attuned to their reactions with “so far?”

also “so far” = frontloading their concern of uncertainty and sets the buyer up to give the seller more details on a positive note while leaving room to be “Frame Inclusive”

10:) Intrigue before “Value”

Sellers waste a lot of time trying to deliver value before there is any intrigue.

While something that is high value can naturally create intrigue, in today's world where most solutions (especially in tech) are comparable, you the seller / marketer need to deliberately elicit intrigue first in order to open the door for persuasion.

Think of it this way..

Intrigue is the hook.

Value is the anchor.

I would watch in disbelief as my mentor would send vague 1-2 sentence cold emails with typos and quickly get responses from senior executives at big companies.

Now looking back it makes total sense.

He was doing the opposite of “best practices” which was intriguing.

If your “value” driven cold emails aren’t working well for you, then try doing the opposite.

You never know..

🐲: Hi John, my name is Katie and I’m with [company]. we’re a boutique XYZ agency working with a few companies in your space such as [company 1], [company 2], and [company 3]. should we explore some opportunities too?

Pro tips

• Your buyer should be thinking “someone definitely wrote this. no way it’s AI”

• Aadd in a little spelling mistake

• don’t capitalize every beginning of sentence

• use acronyms

• play with spacing .

  Chad note: Use these techniques sparingly. Combining too many in one message will defeat the purpose.

Programs & Trainings

The Accelerator

A high intensity 12 week group coaching program. Limited to 10 participants. Through live sessions and active roleplaying, you'll learn how to deeply understand your buyers, ask powerful questions, and be in control of your deals.

More details here:

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if you’re ready to enroll, you can also fill out the form here:

Enroll now

The Chad Salesman Course

My flagship course. A no-BS self study course that transforms average sellers into top performers.

Check it out

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• Avoiding creating what we hate with unconscious negative intentions

• 3 follow up email templates to try

• An example Socratic conversation for enabling the buyer to answer their own question / concern

• Injecting an impact question with Status & Domain Expertise

The energy you give is what you manifest.

A potentially career changing Reframe awaits you here should you choose to listen:

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3 follow up email variations to try

Chad note: Pay attention to the subtle differences in each variation.

Listen to the audio for additional context & breakdown.

Variation 1

Variation 2

Variation 3

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example of Socratic Questioning

audio to emphasize tonality & delivery:

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Injecting the “Impact” Question with Status

Pro tip: Connect the problem to metrics they care about.

Accelerator Winter Cohort starts Jan 12!

Enroll now:

And if you don’t have the course yet and want to start there you can check it out here:

Check it out

Read more

Next Steps

Now that paid subscribers and course buyers had the opportunity to enroll, Accelerator Enrollment is now open for the entire community!

Here is the link to the application form.

After you fill out the form, I will reach out in the coming days:

• To schedule a consultation in order to see if the Accelerator is the right fit for you.

• Or to confirm that you’re on the waitlist for future cohorts.

Accelerator Overview

The Accelerator is a 12 week group coaching program that will be running year round.

We will meet, as a group, every other week via Zoom in order to cover the core material. And there will be “Open Gym” sessions occurring in the weeks between in order to focus on practicing the material.

A maximum of 10 participants will be allowed per cohort.

Each session will be ~1 hour and consist of:

- Live teaching of the new content

- Live participation & Active learning from you

- Q&A / Group discussion / Real-time feedback

The Accelerator is a highly tactical program with each session building on the learnings from the previous sessions.

Our 3 months together will require:

• Your attendance, high intention and full presence.

• Completion of the homework assignments & exercises to the best of your ability (with my guidance of course)

• and the courage to participate in a group setting + engage your peers and I in live roleplaying exercises where we can all learn and grow together

For this to work, for both you and I, you must be 100% engaged and committed throughout our brief time together. No exceptions.

There are limited spots and I’m only interested in helping those who have decided to improve and are committed to doing so.

This program will also require that you have the ability, willingness, and flexibility to experiment with the new methods & approaches you’ll be learning.

My approach to selling is unconventional. It is also a proven approach that is brutally effective as demonstrated by the thousands of sellers around the world that have experienced exceptional results using my methods and approach.

Month 1

There is a high correlation between the buyers perception of your Authority and “Closed Won”

You will learn the tools, frameworks, and principles behind how to develop deep Domain Expertise in order to increase your Authority.

Developing Domain Expertise means understanding in detail what problems, experiences, feelings, and thoughts your buyers go through in their day to day and having the ability to articulate all of that back to them using their language.

In short, it’s understanding your buyer better than they know themselves.

Many of you believe you understand your buyers. The new “Lay of the Land” exercise I’ve developed will shamelessly challenge that belief.

I’ll also teach you how to create a Problem Pitch so you stop losing control of the meeting when the buyer asks you “Tell me more about your company?”

You will also learn the formulas and frameworks I (and my clients) use in order to create questions.

I often get asked “SalesGuy, how do you know what questions to ask?”

You will not only learn what questions to ask but, more importantly, you will learn how to know which questions to ask and how to create them.

You’ll learn how to ask the right questions, in the right way, at the right time in order to achieve critical objectives, such as:

- Finding the Buyers Problems

- Raising the Stakes

- Quickly Disqualifying tire kickers

- Diagnosing the Root Causes (i.e demonstrating to the buyer you understand *why* their problems are happening in the first place)

- And mapping (leading) the buyer to your solution

“Teach a seller what questions to ask, he will ask good questions for a meeting. Teach a seller how to create questions, he asks good questions forever” - 🐲

Month 2

You will learn how to run a sales meeting from open to close so you get the buyer doing all the work convincing and/or Disqualifying themselves.

You’ll learn how to set a strong Frame at the beginning of your meetings, Neutralize Status Gaps (if needed, of course!) and how to take the questions you’ve created in Month 1 and plug them into your sales meetings.

You will also get access to and learn The Cartoon Selling structure that I’ve developed.

The Cartoon Selling structure is a powerful framework that helps guide you through the selling process and enables you to consciously repeat winning behaviors.

I believe that every elite seller naturally follows The Cartoon Selling Structure. Only now I’ve codified it and made it accessible for you.

You will learn how to identify, play with, and influence Status Dynamics.

Elite sellers have a high quality “Talent Stack” (h/t Scott Adams) meaning they are competent at a variety of relevant skills that enhance the overall talent of the individual.

We’re going to leverage principles and teachings from my experience in improv in order to improve your ability to manage the moment and think & act quickly on your feet.

You’ll learn how to create compelling “characters” that buyers feel comfortable buying from and respect & defer to.

You will also get to practice playing with Status Dynamics and acting your way through a meeting.

You will learn what the “Frame Game” is and why sellers keep losing it.

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

You’ll also learn why you make the mistakes you do with buyers and why you’re doomed to keep repeating them (unless you change, of course)

Month 3

In the final month, we will ramp up our learning and application of Frame Control.

You’ll learn how to always be in control of your meetings through the use of 3 powerful communication techniques:

• Framing

• Reframing

• and Socratic Questioning

You’ll learn the structures, frameworks, and formulas for how to create a Frame, a Reframe, and/or a Socratic Question.

*I have yet to see any sales training out there distill and codify the process of Framing & Reframing into a step by step process that anyone can follow.

I am (probably) the first to do it.

We will also cover Prospecting.

You’ll learn how to avoid the most common trap that sellers fall into when doing outreach (and why their success rates are often abysmal)

You’ll learn the 3 levers to successful outreach and 4 powerful tactics you can implement immediately in your outreach messaging in order to stand out.

I will also do Live Teardowns of your cold emails / cold calling scripts so you get real time feedback and practice with me.

Investment

$6,000 for the entire program.

Paid Substack subscribers and those who have purchased my course get priority access and can enroll at a special rate of $5,500.

*you also have the option to purchase individual coaching throughout the 3 months as well.

Apply now

Here are some highlights:

• Before joining, one seller wasn’t confident he would reach his $1M target for 2024. Now he is on track to hit that goal ~2 months early and blow past $1M by EOY.

• Another seller went from consecutive quarters at 75%~85% quota attainment to hitting 95% last quarter and is on track to repeat it again this quarter. Management is asking him how the F*** is he generating so much pipeline!

• Another seller, who is in more of a consultative role, is using the questioning structures he learned in order to revamp his presentations. He’s using Socratic Questioning, Framing and Reframing techniques in order to build political capital at his company too. Now he has the tools to hit the ground running when his role expands into more direct selling.

• And another seller, a seasoned Enterprise AE, says the Accelerator is an entirely new dimension of sales compared to mainstream methodologies. And the Accelerator has paid for itself many times over.

Nicolai’s Experience with The Accelerator

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I’m proud of the work and commitment the Summer cohort has put in these last few months!

They were my first group so a big thank you to them too.

The Fall Cohort is well underway and I will continue to share more success stories as they come.

—

Cartoon Reflections & Observations

It’s been 3 years since putting on the bow tie and in that time I’ve helped tens of thousands of people all over the world increase their sales with my content and course.

At the time of this writing, I’ve posted 22,800+ tweets. Clearly I have much to say regarding sales & dealmaking.

There’s a little known secret that using the search bar on my X feed gets you free access to more valuable content than cringey 5-6 figure corporate sales training. IYKYK.

I’ve also personally coached hundreds of sellers from a wide variety of verticals & industries with great success.

Industries including, but not limited to:

• Women’s jewelry

• Insurance

• Enterprise software

• Medical devices

• B2B services

and more.

Coaching in many different industries teaches you that despite industry specific nuances, the selling process remains largely the same & consistent across the board.

I’m grateful for the impact I’ve made. And my work here is far from finished, anon.

—

Accelerator Content

The Accelerator is my best content yet. I poured a ton of energy & intention into making sure it met my standards. Even at the expense of marketing and growing my brand / account. I didn’t care about anything else besides putting out a great product.

The Accelerator is the evolution of my methodology & approach to sales. I’ve refined many of my ideas while expanding on others.

I’ve also integrated new ideas and approaches that are strongly influenced by my experience performing and teaching improv comedy in order to make “sales training” a different experience in a sea of same old.

I mentioned earlier how one seller felt that The Accelerator is “an entirely new dimension to sales” that you won’t find with common methodologies today and that the Accelerator has paid for itself many times over.

That was music to my ears because that was my aim when creating The Accelerator.

Accelerator Group Dynamics

Coaching in a group setting adds an entirely new dimension of learning for everyone.

You not only learn directly, but you also learn indirectly by watching others. Group dynamics activate those important mirror neurons and recursive thinking.

Since we meet regularly as a group you get to experience the incremental improvements during & after each session. Noticing yourself improve as you’re improving is an incredibly important part of the learning process. It’s validating and reinforcing.

Plus, nothing beats connecting with and coaching a group of winners that are determined to improve and learn.

It just feels great.

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How do we really learn?

Understanding a concept intellectually isn’t the same thing as having the concept integrated into the body.

When a concept is integrated into the body, it is internalized. This is the level of “Unconscious Competence” .. You don’t think too much, if at all, about what you’re doing as you’re doing it. You’re just doing it, effectively.

When a concept is only understood intellectually, it is not fully accessible for you. You aren’t yet able to consistently apply it and/or apply it at the right time.

This is why sellers don’t see consistent and lasting change after going through some sales training. You may see a breakthrough here and there but the information never really “sticks”

Consuming content and taking self study courses alone can only take you so far.

You need to have a system in place where you can practice what you are learning in a safe environment and have your behavior reflected & validated back to you in order for you to internalize the learnings.

Ideally with a peer group and/or a coach and not just from your interactions with buyers.

The Accelerator solves for that.

And now solves for it better due to some recent updates.

—

Making improvements

Over the last 1-2 months I’ve discovered that there was not enough time for us as a group to just practice the Accelerator material.

There’s a lot of new teachings to get through. At times I had to plow through teaching the content in order to make sure we covered it all. The amount of practice that we were able to get in most sessions was good, but it left some of us, including myself, wanting more.

The learning process is two-fold:

1. Gaining new awareness

2. Reinforcing that awareness

And we needed more of #2. Reinforcement so the material further embeds and accelerates learning.

That’s when I had the idea for “Open Gym”

Open Gym for the Accelerator

“Open Gym” is where we meet as a group 1x a week on Zoom in order to practice applying what we’ve learned in the Accelerator (and go deeper into concepts if needed)

Open Gym sessions will occur on the weeks in between the core Accelerator sessions and will be included at no extra cost for current and future cohorts.

Open Gym will also be available for anyone who has gone through the Accelerator and wants to continue practicing on an ongoing basis.

We’ve already begun doing Open Gym and the groups are enjoying it. For example, we started the most recent Open Gym by first warming up with rapid fire Socratic Questioning exercises. This is to reinforce the habit of answering questions with questions. Then we role played a questioning Framework we learned in the Accelerator. It was a lot of fun and the sellers got quality reps in.

Each week we will practice different skills and continue sharpening our skills so we stay “game ready”

Open Gym is drop in style so sellers can attend as often as they want and Cancel anytime.

The investment for ongoing Open Gym will be $350/month.

Open Gym for the Chad Salesman Course

This also got me thinking why not offer an Open Gym experience for those that have gone through the course too?

Open Gym can be a great opportunity to focus on practicing the material covered in the course with myself and likeminded Chads in the community.

If you are interested in doing this, let me know by filling out the form here.

If there’s enough people who are interested then I will set it up.

Investment

$500/mo and we meet as a group 1x a week on Zoom on a day/time we choose.

Maximum of 12 participants per Open Gym group in order to keep engagement high.

and finally..

Accelerator Enrollment will open for everyone next week

Accelerator enrollment will open up for the entire community next week Tuesday the 29th at 1pm EST. I will send an email then with the enrollment details.

And if you want to learn more about The Accelerator you can here:

-BTSG

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