Lose the Ego!

5 ego traps holding you back from working less & making more money

BowTiedSalesGuy

Apr 17, 2023

Salespeople work harder than they need to only to get poorer results

Does that trigger you?

Good. Keep reading.

The reason why people can logically agree with good advice but still behave in counterintuitive ways is because of Ego.

Let’s look at a few ways the Ego sabotages salespeople and prevents you from working less & making more money.

Ego Trap #1: Taking everything personal

It’s sad how sensitive salespeople get when a prospect doesn’t return their calls / emails.

They take it to heart and get offended. As if the prospect not getting back to them is the same as a family member / loved one ignoring them too.

Not the same. Not even close.

Don’t take this stuff too serious.. it’s just a game.

Yes, you should follow up if you need to but you can only follow up so many times before it becomes pathetic.

Plus, if you are following the game plan outlined in my course then prospects shouldn’t be ghosting you and your pipeline should be overflowing with opportunities so that you never develop “one deal-itis”

How about when the prospect tries to pick a fight with you?

Don’t take it personal! Fall back instead..

Prospect: You guys are expensive relative to your competitors

🐲: That’s true.. and can you think of any reason why we are more expensive?

Prospect: Probably because of inefficiencies / bureaucracy. You guys are a bloated company.

🐲: Ha that’s a good point.. And if you’ve figured it out so did everyone else who bought from us. So I’m curious.. why else do you think our customers bought from us despite being an inefficient & bloated company?

Prospect: Probably because you guys have better data quality

🐲: Hmm true.. but they have pretty decent data quality too though

Prospect: Yeah but you guys have more xyz *begins selling themselves*

You must develop the skill of Amused Mastery. Yes, you are amused by the prospects childish behavior / games.

You are not being scolded by an adult.

You are being challenged by their inner child and responding accordingly.

Ego Trap #2: Unable to accept what is

The foolish salesperson is the one who believes he can control things outside of his control.

What are some things outside of your control?

- The prospects decision to buy / not buy

- Timing

- Returning your calls / emails

This belief is what triggers you to try harder when the prospect doesn’t “get” why they need to use your solution.

Understand this:

All you can control is how well you execute your sales process.

So for example, when it comes time to actually tell the prospect “what you do” you do it to the best of your ability by following advice like this:

and if by the end the prospect doesn’t agree / resonate with it..

LET IT GO!

Stop forcing outcomes.

Stop trying so hard.

Ego Trap #3: Comparing

Your meeting with a successful decision maker is about to begin.

Are you feeling insecure? Why?

Because you are comparing yourself to them.

The best salespeople are calm because they understand that despite the prospects accomplishments they are equal as humans.

The Ego loves to compare. It is desperate for recognition / validation and as a result causes us to act in self defeating ways.. Don’t “go with it”

The prospect may have higher social status than you outside of the deal, but you (should) have higher social status than them within the context of your deal because you know more about how to help them solve their problems / capitalize on opportunities than they do.

When done right, you will carve out your own Frame that is magnetic & authentic.

It will attract the prospect into your Frame so you don’t have to chase them / supplicate for the deal.

Side note: Comparing is one of the ways we keep ourselves from being happy too.

Ego Trap #4: Arguing & Convincing

You can’t convince anyone of anything. It only appears that you are convincing the prospect because on some level the prospect is convincing themselves.. despite your attempts.

In other words, people move for their reasons not yours.

But since the Ego is a stubborn fucker we keep doing dumb things like arguing, convincing, showing how great / smart we are, and assuming we know whats best for the prospect, our Ego will keep us behaving in a way that is counterproductive to closing deals.

All that time & energy trying to make the prospect “get it” has less influence on their final decision than you think it does.

This is why you should be Disqualifying, not trying to argue & convince..

This principle also applies to “overcoming objections”

The person most qualified to overcome an objection is the prospect, not the salesperson. It’s their objection after all, not yours.

So in the spirit of keeping our Ego’s in check.. here’s another example of how to “handle objections” by enabling the prospect to handle it themselves..

Playing dumb is smart

Trying to argue & convince is also what prevents you from “playing dumb” so you can gather more information.

It’s this same belief that also compels you to answer every single question directly instead of figuring out the reason / intent / trigger for the question before answering.

Ego Trap #5: Fear of the Truth

Getting to the Truth is a choice.

But the Ego is afraid to get to the Truth because it can experience rejection / failure at any point during the process of getting that Clarity.. it is a built in “risk”

But instead of dealing with the risk of rejection in order to get to the Truth, salespeople become overly attached to ambiguity and choose to remain in the dark.

This is a choice.

They believe that without a “No” they “still have a shot” to try and convince the prospect!

See how it is all connected?

Salespeople rather accept a ‘Maybe’ (Slow No) instead of a fast No (or Yes!)

So instead they’d rather just let the prospect control the entire process because of fear and dumb beliefs like the cUsToMeR iS aLwAyS RiGhT

Your Ego also refuses to let you feel comfortable saying “I don’t know” to a prospect

🐲: I don’t know if what we have is even right for you at the moment

🐲: I don’t know if we can help you yet

🐲: I’m not sure what I do is even right for you

These types of responses create space while simultaneously Reframing and drawing others towards you. It is an authentic & transparent response that is completely free of Ego.

Here are 3 versions of how to respond to a “Why you?” type of question from the prospect: