You can just start Disqualifying

the 3S Framework

Mar 19, 2025

Most sellers make the critical mistake of accepting what buyers tell them at face value.

Buyers will say things like “We need to improve efficiency” and the seller will often immediately jump to talking solutions, missing opportunities to uncover the deeper dynamics and subtext that actually drive buying decisions.

There are so many salespeople that are not even aware that they should be digging deeper (NGMI)

And for the sellers that are aware, they simply don’t know how to execute effectively.

I can help in both cases.

Starting with those who don’t know they need to be digging deeper:

YOU NEED TO BE GOING FUCKING DEEPER

There.

Now for those who know but don’t know how, I’ll show you how to do it.

The Problem with Traditional Discovery

When you tell a salesperson to “find XYZ” in their deals, such as pain, the gap, impact, etc.. you’re actually making it less likely they will find it.

Salespeople are incentivized to close deals, not to find reasons why deals shouldn’t happen. So when you tell them to look for, say impact, they’ll see it everywhere.. even where it doesn’t exist.

Let me illustrate with a personal example.

I have a friend who saw a dentist, a self proclaimed “cavity specialist” who diagnosed him with multiple cavities.

He gets a second opinion from a general dentist. No cavities.

What gives?

It’s not surprising if you are trained in the way of the 🐲..

If you got paid based on how many cavities you identified and filled, wouldn’t everything appear to be a cavity to you??

The same sort of confirmation bias plays out in sales..

Buyer: We want to be more efficient

Seller: Why?

Buyer: Because our marketing campaign approval process is taking too long

Seller: Why is this a problem?

Buyer: Because it’s delaying our launches and causing friction between marketing and compliance

🤡: Great, let me show you our workflow automation solution!

I bet if you asked this rep what the ‘impact’ or ‘pain’ was they would tell you with certainty the impact is “friction between marketing and compliance”

NGMI.

They think they’ve found a real problem, but they’ve barely scratched the surface.

They haven’t established how severe the delays are (Scale), how many campaigns are affected (Scope), or what’s truly at stake for the buyer personally if these delays continue (Stakes)

Without this context, the rep is just chasing their own projection.. not a real opportunity. The deal will either never close, or will only close after excessive time and effort, usually with concessions and discounts.

Why?

Because the pain currently felt simply isn’t compelling enough to drive decisive action.

Understanding the 3 Elements of a Problem

There are 3 elements to a problem that will help you understand if their problem is actually serious enough to justify action:

Scale: How big is the problem? (severity, magnitude, depth)

Scope: How widespread is the problem? (who’s affected, reach, extent)

Stakes: Why does it truly matter? (Consequences, personal impact, future implications)

You don’t need to deliberately hunt for or gather this specific information from buyers through Discovery (aka an interrogation for many of you!)

That will only create additional pressure on you and your buyers.

What you and so many salespeople desperately need is less, not more.

Less things to do.

Less things to remember.

Less things to say.

No.. instead I’m going to Reframe how you listen so you can use the buyers momentum to your advantage and naturally uncover this information without much thought.

The Reframe

First we need to get you in the right frame of mind.

🐲: You are an expert on the problem you solve. Now imagine that you are talking to a close friend you care deeply for who is complaining to you about the very problems you are an expert in solving. How would you behave with them?

From there we implement The 3S Framework (Scale, Scope, and Stakes) through Disqualification. Actively pushing against and challenging what the buyer tells you.

All you need to do is use what the buyer has just said in order to formulate what you say or ask next.

Example Dialogue

Buyer: We want to be more efficient.

🐲: What does that mean?

Buyer: We want to speed up our marketing approval process.. it's taking too long

🐲: Efficiency can mean a lot of things, and I know it’s rarely a priority by itself. So what’s making approval time important right now?

Buyer: We’re often getting delayed by a few days

🐲: An extra day or two in approvals doesn’t usually impact the business significantly..

Buyer: Well, it’s actually more than that. What used to take 1-2 days now takes anywhere from 7-10 days.

Chad note: Notice how minimizing “a few days” gets them to clarify and reveal more information

🐲: Even a week long approval process is pretty standard for most companies. What makes this a priority to solve now?

Buyer: Because we're in a competitive market. When our main competitor announces a feature, we need to respond quickly. These delays mean they're controlling the narrative.

🐲: I imagine this is just affecting a small part of your marketing operations though, right?

Buyer: No, it’s affecting all our campaigns across three product lines. That’s about 30 campaigns per quarter getting bottlenecked.

🐲: But companies find ways to work around these kinds of issues though. Is it really worth investing in a new solution?

Buyer: My team is measured on how quickly we get campaigns out and how fast we respond to market changes. I've missed my targets for two quarters now. My VP made it clear this needs to be fixed before our annual planning or it will affect our budget allocation and potentially my position on the leadership team.

🐲: And your VP is on board with putting in a new solution too? I imagine he can't be too happy about needing to allocate budget for a new solution rather than finding inexpensive workarounds.

Buyer: No he is not happy about it but he knows the workarounds aren't scalable.

🐲: What do you mean he knows the workarounds aren’t scalable?

Buyer: We’re doing manual reviews and email approvals right now, but we’re expanding into two new markets next quarter.

🐲: Lots of marketing teams can manage expansion with existing processes though. What makes this different?

Buyer: The team is already working weekends just to keep up with the current volume. My VP tried implementing a tracking spreadsheet, but it just created more admin work without fixing the delays. If we don’t find a solution that can handle our growth, we’ll miss our launch targets for the new markets.

🐲: Missing launch targets happens all the time though. Companies adjust and move on.

Buyer: Not in our industry. The first 30 days after launch represent nearly half of the product lifecycle revenue. If we miss that window, we’ll miss our annual targets. My VP has already been questioned about our delayed launches in the executive meetings.

Notice who is doing all the justifying, convincing, and explaining?

Why this works

It Reframes the traditional power dynamic. Instead of you eagerly trying to prove your value and why they should change, the buyer is working to convince you that their problem needs solving.
When you minimize their problem (“an extra day or two doesn't usually impact..), they feel the urge to clarify and defend.. the same way you do when buyers challenge you.
Your skepticism helps buyers articulate their own problems more clearly. Often times they haven’t fully thought through their situation, so your disqualifying subtly forces them to think more deeply about their situation and why it matters.
It feels more authentic than typical discovery. Rather than following an obvious script of probing & fact finding questions, the conversation flows naturally as a back and forth exchange between 2 human beings.

Limitations

Disqualification works well when buyers have at least some awareness of their problem, but there are limitations too.. particularly when buyers are truly clueless about what they need.

In those situations, a buyer might not have enough context to defend or expand on their statements when you challenge them. They might simply agree with your Disqualifying (“yeah, I guess it’s not that big a deal”) because they lack the expertise to articulate why their problem matters.

For uninformed buyers, you will need a hybrid approach.

a mix of Push and Pull. Some examples:

1) Start with some educational context setting before using Disqualification

Buyer: We need to be more efficient with our marketing.

🐲: Being more efficient with your marketing typically falls into three categories: process bottlenecks, tech automations, or resource allocation. Many of the companies we work with discover their biggest opportunities are in process bottlenecks, particularly around approvals and compliance. Do you consider yourself under one of those categories or is it something else?

Buyer: Yes, approvals are definitely slow.

🐲: I see.. Though most companies manage to work around approval delays without significant impact. What makes you think this is affecting your business?

This approach provides educational framing first, then transitions to soft disqualification once they have context.

2) Use softer forms of Disqualification that guide rather than challenge

Buyer: Our marketing approvals are slow.

🐲: Some delays in approvals are normal and can even be beneficial for ensuring quality. What specifically about your current timeline doesn’t seem to be working for your team?

Buyer: Well, I’m not sure exactly, but our campaigns seem to take forever to launch.

🐲: I hear that a lot. Companies that struggle with this usually see impacts in one of three areas: missed market opportunities, team burnout, or inconsistent messaging. Do you resonate with any of this or maybe seeing something else on your end?

This approach gives the buyer options to choose from rather than outright challenging their frame.

3) Use companies similar to them as examples of what’s possible

🐲: How familiar are you with us and what we do?

Buyer: Not very to be honest.. heard about you guys from XYZ and was interested to learn more

🐲: Why? What’s going on?

Buyer: We want to improve our marketing efficiency.

🐲: I hear that a lot, but it helps to understand what specific issues you’re seeing. We recently worked with a company similar to yours who initially just wanted to “improve marketing efficiency”.. and when we dug deeper, we discovered their real issue was with approval bottlenecks. Their compliance team was taking 2-3 weeks to review campaigns, which meant they were constantly missing opportunities. Is your team experiencing any specific bottlenecks like that? or is it something else?

Buyer: Actually, yes. Getting approvals does take longer than it should.

🐲: What kind of timeline are we talking about for approvals? Because some delay is normal in most organizations.

Buyer: I’m not sure exactly, but it feels like weeks sometimes.

🐲: What opportunities might you be missing when campaigns are delayed by a few weeks?

Buyer: Well, our competitors often respond to market changes faster than we do. By the time we get our campaigns approved, they’re already out there promoting.

🐲: And as a result do you believe you’re missing opportunities? Many companies operate successfully reagardless if they’re not first to promote.

This approach uses social framing mixed with soft disqualification to help get the buyer talking. Stronger Disqualification will come as the buyer gains more clarity.

Start now

There’s a lot of nuance to Disqualification that I’ll write about in future posts, but this framework gives you a solid foundation to start with today.

The next time a buyer mentions a problem, resist your natural urge to pounce on it as validation for them needing your solution. Instead just take a deep breath and gently push back. Question whether it’s significant enough to solve. Minimize it slightly and see how they respond.

This approach is brutally effective at separating real opportunities from time wasters.

If they can't defend why their problem matters when challenged, you’re probably wasting your time on a bad deal or one that will never close.

Programs & Trainings

The Accelerator

A high intensity 12 week group coaching program. Limited to 10 participants. Through live sessions and active roleplaying, you'll learn how to deeply understand your buyers, ask powerful questions, and be in control of your deals.

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